August slipped away
I’ve always dreaded August. The end of summer, the passing of my birthday, the changes that come with the new season. August is entirely too full of beginnings and endings for someone who is a creature of habit, like myself.
This August has felt too intense and overwhelming for me. In a matter of weeks, almost every area of my life changed in some way. Some of the changes I controlled. Some of the changes controlled me. Regardless of who was in the driver’s seat, August took its toll on me.
I think anyone who has had longer than a five minute conversation with me can easily figure out that I enjoy oversharing. But something about this space and trying to articulate these moments and feelings into words feels intensely vulnerable. (And I am not a fan of vulnerability!) It’s easy to overshare and laugh off everything as if everything is a joke. But to sit here and seriously reflect on the whirlwind that is the month of August makes me feel incredibly shy to share anything remotely personal. So instead here I am, writing about important things but giving you no real substance about what those important things are. Guess I’m not as much of an oversharer as we thought.
Sometimes I tend to forget that the things I joke about and very willingly share with others have actually had intense effects on me. Is that just a form of coping? Should I not publish this and instead forward it to a therapist? Most likely.
Anyways, I’m not sure what the theme of this is or if there really even is one. August was a lot. It was tough. And yet here we are! A new season at our fingertips. A new era of life. Refreshing and terrifying.
