Reckless years

In some ways, this feels like my first semester of college. In reality, I’m over halfway done and already looking into life post-undergrad. But! Because of covid, I feel like I was robbed of so many experiences I had been waiting on and now we’re finally making up for lost time. 

I’ve always been a sucker for a sentimental moment. I get attached entirely too easily, to places, to people, to moments, to things. As this semester and year come to an end, I have been feeling extra sappy and sentimental. I used to dream about what my college experience would be like. Cheesy, I know. But, I couldn’t wait to leave home and have a life that was completely my own. And I actually feel like I’m doing that for the first time. Just a little later than I originally thought it would be. 

College is meant to be a little reckless. Knowing myself, “reckless” is not a frequently used word in my vocabulary. I’m finally letting go a little bit and enjoying the little moments. I’m not sure if I can really explain what I mean besides I am just kind of doing whatever I want (within reason!). And worrying less about what comes next. And it feels really good because I know that this is a special period. My best friends won’t always live within a five minute walk, and I won’t always have time to go out every Thursday night.

Don’t be alarmed, I’m not going off the edge or anything. I am still slightly high-strung and doing very well in school. I am my mother’s daughter, after all! I know how to have fun and stay on top of everything. 

One day, I’ll be old and wise with a real job and maybe a family to take care of. And I’ll look back fondly on the shitty bars where we spent our weekends and the nights where we pretended like we didn’t have a single responsibility. And I’ll think fondly of the girl I am right now. Because while I’m proud of her academic and personal achievements, I’m really proud that she’s remembering to have fun during it.