Four years later
When I first took a tour of UT, I hated it. I remember a frazzled feeling, crying and wondering if I was making a mistake coming here. By that point, I had already mentally decided that was what I was going to do, and I very rarely deviate from my plans. So I knew I was still going to go, I just wasn’t very excited about it. I remember my mom said, “Are you sure you want to do this?” I didn’t give her a yes.
Four years later, today started like any other. I woke up early, cooked breakfast while I listened to a podcast, and made my bed. I love the mornings. I’m a high-strung person with a lot of stress constantly residing in my body. The mornings are the only time of day when I truly feel at peace.
Today, I turned in my last assignments of my undergraduate career and took my last exam. When I woke up today, I didn’t feel any different. When I wake up tomorrow, I doubt I will either. I’ll go to graduation and walk the stage, and that’s when it might hit me that I’m done.
Graduating college has made me think a lot about my friends from high school. I hope they’ve all enjoyed their respective college experiences as much as I enjoyed mine. I hope that the things we talked about came true for everyone.
This place and the people around me have fundamentally changed me. I know it isn’t groundbreaking that moving off for college will influence your early adulthood. But it’s still a really special experience, and one I feel really lucky to have had.
I feel like I’ve lived 15 lives in the last 4 years. There have been a lot of different eras, hyper fixations, people, and memories I’ll cherish. And overall, only a few regrets, and they’re ones I don’t mind living with. I’m thankful for the person I’ve become. Freshman year Kendal would think I’m really cool. Freshman year of high school Kendal would be intimidated by me, and very shocked that I’m a blonde now. I think I’m making all the previous versions of myself proud.
I have a little bit of a frazzled feeling in the pit of my stomach at all times right now; scared for the unknown. Again, my mom has asked me if I’m sure of what I want in the next phase of my life. This time, I can give her a yes. I know I’ll figure it out.
So, happy graduation. Happy next phase of life, whatever that looks like for you and wherever you go.
