This season of life

My senior year feels really special in all the most basic ways. I’m enjoying my time with my friends before we all split up next year. I’m relishing in the fact that my classes aren’t too demanding. I’m taking advantage of living around the corner from our Tuesday Dollar Beer hangout. I’m realizing this might be the last year I can go out on a weeknight and survive the following day. None of this feels particularly unique. I would know because my friends and I reminisce on these facts almost daily. 

At the end of the day, life is simultaneously the most universal and unique experience we have. Personally, this is both comforting and terrifying. I like to think I’m special, but I am constantly reminded of how little of a place I take up in the big, scary world. 

My current identity crisis feels very personal, but I know almost every senior in college experiences the same thing. I have never really stepped into the unknown like I’m about to. And as terrifying as it is, I have a lot of faith in myself, for better or worse. There have been many moments where I thought I wouldn’t be able to figure it out. And I always do. This will be no different. 

Unfortunately, I’m usually one of those people who always wants the next best thing; I’m hardly ever content. And right now, I feel strangely and peacefully content with the life around me. The simple, silly moments I referenced earlier, but also just who I am as a person. 

I’ve always considered myself to be very independent, but I think it’s taken a new meaning this year. I love my little routine I’ve created, the habits I’ve formed, and the people I regularly carve time into my schedule to see. I finally enjoy going to the grocery store; I don’t mind that I eat almost every meal alone on my living room floor (I’m a floor person.) and being alone doesn’t feel nearly as daunting as it once did. 

While I know this silly little college life has an expiration date, I’m happy that I get to take the person I’ve become into my next stage of life, and every one after that, and that I’ll continue to evolve. Each chapter of life makes its mark on my personality in some way or another, and I like being a scrapbook of the people and places that have made me. I have the same party personality my mom did when she was younger, I’ve stolen my friends’ catchphrases, and while I didn’t grow up a diehard Longhorn fan, I’ll die one.

I’m thankful for this common thread in the human existence that helps us understand and connect with each other. I hope I’m a small part of the people I love too.